Dave recently started a second job teaching criminal justice classes, which means that 3 days out of the week I barely see him. The first week it was a little strange not having anyone but Dali in the house. I’ve gotten so used to him being there that I didn’t know what to do with myself when he was gone. After a few nights, I slowly eased into some of my old habits; oh how I’ve missed doing some of these things.

This was never really an issue when I lived with my sister because we were hardly ever home when we lived together. We both worked and went to school so we rarely ever crossed paths. Living with her was like living alone, except that when you came home you always had a sink full of dirty dishes.

Because I was alone most of the time, I could do the things that I wanted to do without interfering with anything she wanted to do. Although there are several reasons why I’d never be able to live with her again, having alone time was never an issue.

When I moved in with Dave I sacrificed a lot of my “habits”. Sleeping in silence quickly got replaced with falling asleep with the TV on. I began to rely heavily on the DVR instead of watching House and Grey’s Anatomy the night they actually aired. (I actually don’t really mind this one because commercials suck.) Taking hot baths once a week got replaced with taking lukewarm showers. I stopped listening to music while browsing the internet so I wouldn’t interfere with Dave watching the Nascar race or NCIS. Living with him changed a lot about the way I actually lived.

I’m not saying that I don’t love him or enjoy the time that we do get to spend together-because I do. It’s just nice to have some to partake in some of my old habits. Watch what I want to watch. Take a hot bath. Listen to Jack Johnson on my laptop without being called a fag. Ahh, the little things in life.

Tags: Dave, habits, living together, me

My first week of kindergarten I cried every single day. My parents never sent me to preschool, so kindergarten was my first experience away from home in an environment with other kids and people trying to get me to learn. I remember parts of that first week and all the kids in my class staring at me like “Why is she crying AGAIN”. And my teacher, Ms. Faber, giving me the muppet stuffed animal that I used to cry my eyes out in. I remember just not wanting to be away from home and in this new environment that was different from the safety and security of my house with my mom and my dad and my little sister.

I’m a creature of habit. There. I said it. I don’t like drastic changes. Shit, I had my old car for 10 DAMN YEARS. Who do you know that keeps a car for 10 years? Me, that’s who. Because I don’t like changing things. I like doing things a certain way and at a certain time. Lately, if my schedule gets deviated in any way I get upset. Like the whole thing with the car. It really upset me that I had to spend my weekend test driving cars and had to GOD FORBID BUY ONE. And then I had to wake up early to take it back to the dealer to get my tint fixed!! (another story for another time) Are you KIDDING ME!? Weekends aren’t supposed to be spent buying cars.

During the week, it’s much worse. I wake up at 7:30, hit snooze once, then actually get up, go take a shower and get ready for work. Check my email before leaving at 8:20. Work til 12:15, then take my hour lunch. After work drive home, go to gym. Go home, make dinner, check emails and play around on the internet. Go upstairs at 11 to watch Chelsea then fall asleep watching Conan O’Brien.

I realize after re-reading that last paragraph that I sound like I should be committed. It sounds worse than it actually is, I suppose. This kind of behavior runs in my family. My grandmother is so regimented that my family hardly ever sees her. She sticks to her schedule and any deviations require at least a 3 week notice. SO YOU BETTER NOT DIE OR ANYTHING.

I always told myself I would never get as bad as she is. I would never let my “schedule” deter me from the spontaneity that is life. And I’m really not that bad. Honestly, I’m not. But I feel like my schedule lately is consuming me, and preventing me from doing the things that I actually want to do. I get so anxious if there are any deviations to my plan for the day. It really bothers me if I have to schedule in something or do something out of the norm. I have plans to work on some updates to this site as well as my portfolio. I have totally been slacking on writing anything for themugshow (sorry Joel, I promise I’ll contribute!). It’s not that I don’t have the time, because I do. I just have this routine and these things, that are more important than the other crap I’m doing, aren’t in the routine.

I think I just need a break, so it’s good that I’m going on vacation Sunday. I hope to feel better, refreshed, and less routine afterward.

Tags: habits, me