I believe there are two sides to every story, which is why I am often reluctant to write about certain things on this website. Hearing only my side of the story doesn’t seem fair to the other participants, but in this case, I really feel there is nothing that the other side can say that would justify the reasons for doing something so incredibly disrespectful.

I know a lot of my family members read my website. For those that don’t, this would be a great time to start reading. Honestly, you should all know what happened. If you disagree with me, feel free to call me a bitch. It wouldn’t be the first time, but in this case, I believe my feelings are 100% justified.

On April 6, my grandmother died after a long battle with cancer. In her will, she stated she did not want a funeral. My mom’s family respected her wishes. She wanted to be cremated, so my grandpa set it up with the church to have her ashes buried there and have their priest do a small ceremony with just immediate family. My Mom thought this would be perfect for the family and a great chance for her to say her final goodbye. Except that they already had the service. My mother was never called. My Grandpa and 2 uncles went to the service a few days ago. No one ever bothered to call my Mom to let her know.

Things like this are the reasons why I don’t talk to that side of my family. They have absolutely no respect for my mother whatsoever. To do something like this to her is the ultimate slap in the face. It’s rude. It’s disrespectful. There is no solid reason that any of them could say that would justify why they wouldn’t tell her about her mother’s service. As small as it might have been, it was my mother’s final chance to say goodbye to her mom. They robbed her of that. It’s fucked up. There, I said it.

The worst part is that my mom thought that this unfortunate event would have changed things between her family and us. That maybe, just maybe, her father and brothers would realize they were missing out on a lot and try to develop some sort of relationship with us again. For a split second, I thought that this might happen to, but it’s clear that they don’t give a shit about her, her feelings, or the fact that our family has barely spoken to them in over 10 years. Despite our differences, my mother was at my grandma’s side the last few weeks of her life. She wanted to be there. She rearranged her schedule. She missed work. She sacrificed her life so she could be by her mother’s side in her last days. That’s what you do for your family. No matter what the relationship might be. The other things aren’t important. It sickens me that her father and brothers can’t realize this. They will never grow up. They will never change. They will never see what wonderful young women their nieces and granddaughters are.

I’m DONE, but I’ve been done since I was 16. I was smart enough at 16 to realize that I they weren’t right. That they’ll never change. That they’ll never stop being disrespectful to my mother. That they simply don’t give a shit.

And it’s really their loss. Because they will NEVER be a part of my life. Not after this. It makes me sick to know that I’m even related to people like them. I’m tired of them hurting us. I’m tired of their bullshit excuses for why they do the things they do. There’s no justification. Some things are just too big.

And to my mother. I am so very sorry. I wish that there was something that I could do to make you feel better. I just wish, for your sake, that things were different for you.

Tags: family, grandparents, mom

Tuesday morning I got a call from my mother saying that my Grandma was in the hospital and was not doing well. This is her fourth bout with cancer. FOURTH. It’s pretty amazing that she’s still even alive after all she’s been through, but us Italians are stubborn. We fight, and refuse to give in.

I don’t have a relationship with that side of my family. I haven’t talked to my Grandparents in ten years. I’d tell you the story, but it would end up being a novel that I’m sure you wouldn’t want to read. Let’s just say my family is far from The Brady Bunch. But when my mom asked me to come with her to visit, saying it would most likely be the last time I saw my Grandma, I said yes without even thinking about it. I knew it would make my mom happy and you do stuff that you don’t necessarily want to do for the people you love.

These past few months my mother has been through a lot. She lost her good friend to cancer last November and now her mom is going through the same thing. We’re not sure how bad it really is, but the doctors are saying the cancer showed up in her liver and has spread through several places in her body. She was alert and could talk a little bit, but was in a lot of pain and barely ate anything except a few spoonfuls of chocolate pudding.

It’s weird how events like this bring people together. Although we didn’t really talk, my Grandpop acted like the last 10 years never happened. It wasn’t nearly as awkward as I had expected it to be. Being around them felt the same way it did when I was a kid. This may all be over soon.

Tags: family, grandparents