I came home to find piles of dog puke all over my living room and kitchen.

Clearly, cleaning up dog puke was not on my list of things I wanted to do this evening.

I got some towels and cleaning products and began to scrub my rugs. Then I realized that ants decided to go after the mess Dali left on the mat in the kitchen (she always seems to hit some carpet when she does this, NEVER the much easier to clean tile or hardwood floors) so not only did I have to clean up puke, I had to try and remove ants. And just to check I went upstairs and saw she puked a few times on the bedroom carpet. So I got everything as clean as I could, sprayed the ant infested area with ant killer and threw the towels in the laundry. Then I remembered that I stopped at the grocery store to buy a few things before going home and I should probably put the milk away because milk goes bad when not refrigerated. Then I realized I forgot to take the meat out of the freezer for dinner so my original dinner plans were toast. Then I looked at the dishes in the sink and got immediately annoyed so I started cleaning them and when I was trying to find a place to put 1 of 100 plastic cups Dave refuses to throw away, a shot glass fell out of the cabinet and shattered all over the floor. And I got so angry by everything that just happened I literally SCREAMED.

And then I stopped, and told myself to get a grip.

Because it’s not that bad, seriously.

When little things happen, I tend to overreact. I’ve been trying to work on this. To slow down. To stop and really assess the situation in front of me. But old habits aren’t so easy to break. And sometimes, life can be a dirty whore.

That is why we have whiskey, friends.

My friend Chris and I were having a gchat conversation earlier and he mentioned how his new girlfriend was “almost mad” at him for forgetting their one month anniversary.

Heh. Chicks.

That got me thinking about my current relationship and how both us don’t have a clue when our actual anniversary is. We’ve been together about 2.5 years, so we’ve had our share of them, but all we could both tell you is that it’s somewhere around the Super Bowl…errr…Big Game.

When people ask, I just say it’s the day before that big event where the two football teams play for world domination, but I’m pretty sure that event happens on a different date every year. And yeah, I could hop on the Google Box and figure it out, but really, does it matter? I mean, we went this long without knowing the exact date, so really, why bother?

I guess what I’m trying to say is, we never really made a big deal about that sort of thing. We show our love for each other every day (GAG!) so there’s really no need to commemorate the fact that we’ve put up with each other for another year.

If we were married, it would be a different story because your wedding involves spending the day with loved ones, eating cake and fancy white dresses. The only people present the day Dave and I got together were a few drunk friends that I don’t even talk to anymore.

We don’t know when our anniversary is, but we don’t really care either. We’re looking towards our future instead of reflecting on our past. Cause in the end, that’s really all that matters, right?

Maybe we just fail as a couple.

I’ve never really thought that I was exceptionally good at anything. There’s plenty of things that I’m ok at, but nothing that really stands out as being exceptional. To date, I haven’t found one thing that just “came natural”. I’ve always had to work to be good at anything.

When I was a kid, my parents enrolled me in gymnastics and dance classes. I enjoyed it and was awarded a few medals in the competitions the school had, but my classmates always seemed to progress faster and easier than I did. While a few of the girls in my age went ahead to more advanced classes, I stayed in the same classes before moving on.

School was the same way. Although I rarely got less than a B, I always had to work, especially at math. I had a tutor that got me through my high school algebra classes and always had to study for science and history tests. In college, I put myself under great pressure to create amazing projects, while it seemed like some of my peers created them with ease.

In a lot of ways this bothers me. I guess I’m a little jealous of people that are naturally gifted. My whole life, I’ve felt like I have to fight tooth and nail to get results I’d be proud of. It would be nice if some things were just a bit easier.

But on the other hand, I feel like if things were easier, I’d stop fighting so hard to become better. I know that I’m very hard on myself; it’s a part of who I am. Whether it’s work related or personal, I’m always willing to learn how to become better. I try hard and even if I don’t like something, I’m dedicated to it. If things came naturally, would I have the same desire to try and improve myself?

If being exceptional means losing my desire and dedication to improve, I will stick with being just average.

Tags: being average, me