The F word. It scares me.
FAILURE
I’m deathly afraid of failing.
I’m not really sure where the fear came from, but I know I’ve felt it my entire life. A lot of it probably has to do with always feeling rejected. I was the shy, awkward, introverted kid growing up. I got made fun of by my peers for no reason. I didn’t have many friends and the ones I did have were a bunch of shy, awkward introverts themselves. Not knowing why I was “hated” kept me from striving to go further. I liked to play in the “safe zone”. The comfortable spot where I did ok, but wasn’t spectacular. I’d been rejected so many times before, by peers, friends, boys, etc, that I was afraid to do anything that I wasn’t 100% positive I could do. It felt like any time I did take a risk I was almost always rejected, and every time would send me further and further into my shy, introverted shell.
This fear is affecting me more lately because I realize what I am doing is keeping me from being truly happy with life. I have so many plans, things that I want to do and projects I want to start. Things that I know, deep down in my heart, I’ll succeed at. But for whatever reason, I can’t seem to pull the trigger. I have this desperate need to feel independent, yet a crippling fear that I might fail if I take a risk.
It’s a vicious cycle, but it’s something that I’ve acknowledged and is something that I’m determined to get through. Without failure, I don’t learn. I don’t improve. If I refuse to take a risk, I’ll be stuck going through the motions of life instead of actually really living it.
I’m done with settling for what could have been and I’m going to start making these dreams a reality. I’m ready to take my life by the balls and stop denying myself of the things I want and deserve. It’s going to be hard and I might (*gasp*) fail at some point, but I feel like there’s no better time to do it than now.
I’m getting over this fear. Starting today.
Go ahead girl! You can’t let the thought of failure stopping you. Wish you all the best hun! ;p
And again, I know exactly what you mean and how you feel. I felt a lot of that lately.
But just like The Mercurial Wife said: Go ahead!
Sometimes, we are just afraid of things, because we don’t try them. We’re afraid to do something, because we’re afraid of the outcome. One way or another.
Last month, I received a response to one of my job applications. If my application was successful, I’d leave the country and go to the other side of the world. If not, there would have been another missed chance. So I was afraid of the outcome either way and I put off opening that letter for an entire day. But finally, I had to open it and deal with the outcome.
And that is just, what you and me and we all have to do in life: stop worrying about the future and just live. Failure is part of life, just as success is. And you can’t change fate anyway.
So go ahead! And good luck!
Best wishes,
Sabrina
Good for you girl! I have the same fear. I tend to give up on things I really want because I am so afraid of failing. I need to get over it too. I should follow your lead!
Let’s do it together! We can be each others support!
awww…life is all about learning and moving forward. Even if we fail we still move forward!
do everything you plan!!
xoxo
I can totally relate to what you’re saying. I’m feeling the same way lately. I feel a bit stuck…but at the same time I feel like I’m ready to break through & go after the things I really want. For me I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that I’ll be turning 30 soon…
I really relate to this too, most of what I do is “safe”. Go for it, you can do it!